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The Difference

I was, this happy little creature,

With a constant pleasant mood.

Always brimming with faith

Faith in people and faith in me

I lived in an oblivious trance

Worrying about nothing

Wrapped in activity and trivial problems

They now all seem like miniature trials.

The pain I thought I felt

Was pleasure in disguise indeed?

It kept me occupied

It kept me thinking

It kept me grounded

It kept me sane

Those problems were not troubles

They were salvation

They were my rescue

They were my life,

Those problems had solutions

and I worked them out.

And I enjoyed it all,

Now Things have changed.

There are new problems.

There is a new person in me.

When did it all change?

When did this start?

Problems Bigger than life And Bigger than me?

When did I enter this course?

Alone and lost I feel

I did not hear any warning bell

Or did I not hear the warning bell?

What is it that I missed?

I love the idea of someone

Watching over me and guiding me

From the dark corners, and protecting me.

But Alas I fail to believe myself

I fail to make myself believe.

This is the edge of childhood and Adulthood.

What has changed?

Same people around me, same old world.

Am I scared to compete for survival?

I am scared of a lonely death.

I doubt everything, I doubt everyone.

I doubt if anything will last,

It will all pass.

How do I leave this vicious loop?

How do I believe in present again?

And live in present again?

This puzzle I pose, has become a part of my essence

Where are my answers?

Where is the solution?

I want to spend this life

And find the answers before I die

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Author:

No one can claim to know oneself completely, and when somebody else claims to know you better than you, its even more absurd. My quest is to understand myself as much as I can in this lifetime. I am a confused lot. Thoughts keep bombarding when I am least prepared. This blog has served as a wonderful starting point to give a form to my creations ( humble). As a thinker, my philosophy is young. My blog is the incoherent journey of my lifes ups and downs which I am trying to make sense of. I follow my intutions and instincts passionately. I have made a lot of mistakes. And learning how to not commit them again is fun. My likes: Biology, Art, Physics, Philosophy, Photography. No dislikes as such.

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